Track Mangoes

"Medals are more important than times."

-Micheal Phelps, the morning of August 14th 2008, semifinals, being interviewed by Ann whatever her name is.

I suppose you can be a "fish in the water," but then you have to be prepared to smell like a vagina.

But enough about Phelps already. It was a boring day in Beijing for the male gymnasts. Yang Wei did well, like he do, and everyone else kept screwing up royally. Sasha Artemov gave us a few treats on the high bar, an event usually dominated by Horton, but thwarted his hopes of a medal in floor exercise. (And, if he turns to the camera to thank National television for all their support I will snap his pretty little nose off.) I really can't decide what was more disappointing: everyone falling, or the fact that I was missing season two of "Mad Men" to watch Yang Wei kick butt.

OF all the instruments in the gym, I am enamored with the pommel horse. There is something about the constant spinning, the incredible balance, upper body strength, and focus that makes this instrument fascinating to watch. The mistakes look so similar to the successes on this beast. Perhaps I admire that which I cannot understand. Pommel horse routines can be terribly yawning for most people, but I can't help gritting my teeth at the wobbly arms.

Maybe that's why I love watching this guy: