Track Mangoes

Christmas has never had a singular cultural consequence. Historians have long speculated that the holiday’s origins have been largely, if not entirely, socially conditioned.

The Bible provides very few clues as to the actual date of Jesus’ birth. So, the 25th of December seems like an arbitrary choice; that is, unless you takes into account its proximity to the Roman festival of Saturnalia, the winter solstice, and the Natalis Solis Invincti.

The Saturnalia was a weeklong segment of a larger celebration occurring in late December. Hijinks including feasting, infirmity, a slave/master role reversal, and public nudity/orgies ruled these festivals. Christmas, some argue, may have been created to distract gentiles from this pagan party-time.

Natalis Solis Invincti, which roughly translates to "Birthday of the Invincible Sun God," (making it the coolest holiday name evar!) allowed citizens to worship several deities at the same time—Elah-Gabal, the Syrian sun god; Sol, the god of Emperor Aurelian; and Mithras, a god of Persian origin.



The earliest reference to the celebration of Christmas on December 25 is found in ancient Roman manuscripts dating back to 345 A.D. From there on out Christmas enjoyed multiple manifestations. It was seen as the revival of Catholicism in 378, the feast of Constantinople in 379, the "forty days of St. Martin" during the middle ages (otherwise known as “Advent”), and, in 1647, England's Puritan rulers banned Christmas because of its Catholic origins, or as they aptly put it, “popery.”

Today, Christmas has taken a new cultural consequence: money. No longer the religious fest it once was, December 25th has become a kind of economic milepost for big and small name retailers. Black Friday refers to the day when retailers move from the “Red” (losing profits) to the “Black” (making profits). Not surprisingly, the majority of retailers make the bulk of their income during the Christmas season.

Christmas has never had any sort of corollary because it has never had a unilateral definition. Or, if it has, if it has, then Christmas has stood for that which we cannot define in the moment, a palimpsestic holiday. With no sense of its current significance (what does Christmas mean in light of, say, Cyber Monday and the Techno-culture?) all we can do is name its idiosyncrasies: family, gift exchange, and charity etc. Like a social Polaroid that takes a hundred years to develop, Christmas provides an impression of the holiday zeitgeist while constantly escaping those who experience the phenomenon as it happens.

As a gay heathen, growing up in Portland, I could not help feeling like an outsider on Christmas. For me, the holiday, by definition, excludes those who have no family, money, or do not desire to participate in the mainstream culture. I can’t speak for all marginalized groups, (for fear of Matt Won) but I will say that ever since Christmas adopted a gentile overtone it did discountenance to the group whose origins are distinctly pagan: gay boys!

Just like the Saturnalia, gay boys are intrinsically connected to Earth Cult: the mysterious, bubbling, Chthonian mystery of pleasure. Feminists (the new Puritans), liberals (the new Catholics), and bourgeois academics (the new Romans) are all a continuation of Earth Cult’s nemesis: Sky Cult—the cool, centralized, joyless Apollonianism of “reason.”

Are queers the historical residue of paganism?

Perhaps I should frame the question in the form of a request: this season, bring Christmas back down to earth. Don’t get your friends Ipods—give them blowjobs. And if you can’t, it might behoove you to ask why not. Sex with someone you love, is, after all, the Magi’s greatest gift.
Happy Holidays.
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